As I write this, I’m sitting in front of my Christmas tree, happy and exhausted from playing at Christmas services. This has been a season of reflection and joy. Depression and physical pain. And ultimately, finding the joy of being present with my family and friends.

We can offer soft light to help each other remember we can make it through the night. Through all of us, God’s light never fades into darkness.

Dear Sun, we are waiting for you. But we can endure the wait.

Because the moon.

It’s fun – anticipating what could be behind each door. Unwrapping wonder every day, discovering treasure one-by-one until you see the full picture.

Christmas is coming soon, and the countdowns will be tucked away until next year.

May I continually anticipate discovering joy and unwrapping wonder.

Father, why in all this hatred do you fill me up with love?

Because love can save.

Darling, I’ll stand by you.

Since this tradition crossed my path, I’ve looked forward to when I could share the joy and love of reading and togetherness with my own children during this Christmas book exchange.

Jolabokaflod is a wondrous, beautiful tradition that I hope I remember to begin next year.

Even if I don’t say much about my faith here, I do have faith. But I also believe that what I say here isn’t a reflection or a measurement of my faith. What I say matters, but words aren’t the whole story.

So I write this letter, because I still believe in the impossible things. Hope. Peace. Kindness.

And love.

I suppose it’s not your fault, Santa. It’s just easier to blame you for the things that we’re supposed to bring to each other.

Sure, there’s no need to decorate a Christmas tree. No purpose, art, or beauty. Sometimes not everything has a point. But perhaps that is reason in of itself: there is no need.

Only joy.

I can’t turn away from my Someday List forever, no matter how enormous or insurmountable those tasks may seem.

However, the urgency of the Must-Do list masks the fact that the Someday List also has a time limit.

Sure, I’m socially awkward. I don’t always know what to say. Or what to do. Fortunately, in the presence of the people I love and feel safest with, it’s always a treasured moment.

I look forward to spending these days of Christmas cheer being present.